As I predicted, I haven't been able to keep up with doing a regular blog, but that's okay! I knew enough not to set too high of expectations for myself at this period of my life. Many days it seems, I don't even get more than one thing checked off my "To-Do" list, as I'm focusing on keeping my kids alive (and out of mischief)! For a mama, isn't that the biggest thing on our lists, though? I'm trying to give myself more grace by not beating myself up when I don't get ALLLL the things done in one day.
Anyway, I just returned from a nice little trip to Illinois to visit my family. It was cherished time with loved ones who I don't see as much as I would like (can't you all migrate over to California already...We've got In'N'Out, and the beach and cute kids...what more could you ask for?!) :) I braved the trip solo with baby girl, and overall it went pretty well. There were moments of pure exhaustion and thoughts of "I'm never doing this alone again!" but I made it, baby made it and I'm thankful that we were able to make the trip. My family all adored Amberly, though she took her sweet time warming up to everyone (especially my brothers...so many uncles)!
I wanted to share a few blessings that I experienced on my trip.
Random Acts of Kindness
On my first flight, I sat next to a nice air force man, probably in his 50's, who had two grown kids of his own. He was so calm when Amberly would start to wiggle or cry, and just smile and tell me I was a good mom, or he would ask how he could help. He didn't get annoyed, when Amberly would reach out and offer him a toy and take it back, for the 50th time (she hasn't gotten past the indian giver stage yet). After she passed out on me and I was pinned to my seat, he even offered to put my water cup on his tray and hand it to me when I needed it. He also provided friendly conversation; I got to hear about how he met his wife and what his kids were like and how he has a grand puppy now (even though he told his newly-wed daughter to wait on kids-and puppies- for a little while). There was more kindness that he showed me in addition to these things, but you get the picture. :) He was just the KIND of person God knew I needed on that first nervous flight. I felt like crying at one point, just for the simple kindness I was shown (but to me, it felt like a great amount kindness)!
I had one other sweet, motherly lady next to me on the short 30 minute flight from SFO-SLO. She was so excited to sit next to us, which is not always the reaction you get. The other seat mates I had the rest of my flights weren't as excited, but they weren't rude (they just didn't talk much at all, and had pretty serious dispositions lol). I was shown kindness by other people throughout my time at the airport-People who asked if I needed help with carrying my stuff, folding up the stroller/car seat/etc. I was given friendly, knowing smiles (the kind that say "I've been there"). There was a lady a few aisles up on one of my flights who turned around and played peek-a-boo with Amberly when she had a fussy spell. I'm forgetting some things, but overall I experienced a great amount of kindness on my trip and this made a world of difference! I took mental notes for next time I come across a struggling mama. Every mom can use encouragement and kindness!
Laugh Until You Cry
When I was a little girl, I remember being pen pals with many of my long distance relatives. I loved the sheer excitement and joy of opening up a hand-written letter and unfolding the thoughts, feelings and love for me that each note contained. My grandma Omie, as we call her, even started an alphabet drawing game, where we would switch off writing letters of the alphabet on note cards and draw pictures of objects that started with that letter. Her drawings were always better than mine, but I loved seeing her creativity spilled out on those little cards, and in turn I would wonder what she would think of my silly creations. :) I treasured those cards for years, and I hope to re-discover them soon.
When I got older, my brothers and I would go visit my grandma and other relatives during the summer breaks. I fondly recall Grandma Omie teaching us card games like hand and foot or board games like Mouse Trap. She always had ice cream on hand (she never said no to ice cream herself!), and sitting out on her little porch watching the rain while we talked about life. She also had a collection of "vintage" toys that she saved from when my mom and uncle were kids, that she would bring out for us when we were little (many I had never heard of before). Those are just a few of my favorite memories with her. She had one small tv, no cable, just a few VHS tapes and no computer. Some kids may have considered going to her place as "boring", but I treasured those quiet visits with her. One thing I will always hold on to is her precious, contagious laugh. How can I even describe her laugh? It's one of my favorites my ears have ever heard. It's one of those laughs that you can't help but start laughing yourself, even if you don't think what was said to cause that laugh was funny at all.
In the past five years or so, grandma Omie has been losing her mind...to Alzheimer's disease. I had never really experienced the effects of this disease in anyone close to me before, so it did come as a bit of a shock the first few times I saw/talked to my grandma after her diagnosis. Since I moved back to California soon after her diagnosis, I didn't get to talk to or see her very often. I was so grateful she was able to make the trip out for my wedding nearly 5 years ago. That meant so much to me! I also saw her at my brother's wedding a year later, and she was joyfully dancing (a new thing I learned about her-she LOVES to dance!) When I would visit, she wouldn't usually remember me right away, sometimes not at all. I would mail her pictures of the kids and JD and I with the kids, and my mom would place them near her bed in her nursing home and tell her about me and my family. When I would talk to her on the phone, it was difficult to know what to talk about as she couldn't remember anything and would go around in circles a lot of the time. She's also lost her ability to walk recently, so she is confined to either her bed or the wheel chair (no more dancing) :( . My mom says she hardly ever finds her in bed, however, and she's usually socializing with other patients or doing some kind of fun activity with the nurses/patients.
With all the hard changes I've seen in my sweet grandma, one thing that hasn't faded is her laugh. This last visit, my brother Seth and I decided to visit her the first full day I was there. My mom watched Amberly, so Seth and I got a little brother-sister time and didn't have to worry about the baby while we spent time with grandma. Seth was so kind and patient with grandma, it truly warmed my heart. He knew what to say, and I could tell grandma loved being around him. At one point, she patted his hand and looked at it with a funny face. Seth asked what was the matter, and she said something like "you have a big hand" and he said something like "yes I do, And you have petite hands". We all started laughing, and this may have been the moment when I just completely lost it and started laughing so hard that I started crying. I couldn't stop for a good couple of minutes, Seth and my grandma soon followed and we had a great big laughing party. I wonder if anyone was passing by the lounge room during that time and wondered what was so funny. haha! It wasn't what my grandma or Seth said that caused my laughing fit. I truly believe it was a blessing that God allowed me to share a good laugh with my grandma, and Seth! Have you ever laughed so hard it hurt or made you cry? That's a treasured memory to share with anyone :) I hadn't laughed that hard in SO long, and God knew I needed it! Treasure time with your loved ones, and laugh as much as possible. :)
Oh, and grandma Omie loved Amberly! "Oh, would you look at that sweet little girl"...Her love for children hasn't changed a bit, either. It was so special to see her light up around Amberly, and love on her. She won't be able to teach my kids how to play hand and foot, or dance with them, or tell them about her past...but she will be able to share her laugh with them. :)
I plan to do an updated post on the kids soon, as baby girl is almost ONE now, and Liam is getting closer to THREE! As Grandma would say "Oh, boy!" (she says this about almost anything these days, which I've come to love too) :)
