Laugh Until You Cry And Random Acts of Kindness

Hello, after about 7 months!
As I predicted, I haven't been able to keep up with doing a regular blog, but that's okay! I knew enough not to set too high of expectations for myself at this period of my life. Many days it seems, I don't even get more than one thing checked off my "To-Do" list, as I'm focusing on keeping my kids alive (and out of mischief)! For a mama, isn't that the biggest thing on our lists, though? I'm trying to give myself more grace by not beating myself up when I don't get ALLLL the things done in one day.

Anyway, I just returned from a nice little trip to Illinois to visit my family. It was cherished time with loved ones who I don't see as much as I would like (can't you all migrate over to California already...We've got In'N'Out, and the beach and cute kids...what more could you ask for?!) :) I braved the trip solo with baby girl, and overall it went pretty well. There were moments of pure exhaustion and thoughts of "I'm never doing this alone again!" but I made it, baby made it and I'm thankful that we were able to make the trip. My family all adored Amberly, though she took her sweet time warming up to everyone (especially my brothers...so many uncles)!

I wanted to share a few blessings that I experienced on my trip.

Random Acts of Kindness
On my first flight, I sat next to a nice air force man, probably in his 50's, who had two grown kids of his own. He was so calm when Amberly would start to wiggle or cry, and just smile and tell me I was a good mom, or he would ask how he could help. He didn't get annoyed, when Amberly would reach out and offer him a toy and take it back, for the 50th time (she hasn't gotten past the indian giver stage yet). After she passed out on me and I was pinned to my seat, he even offered to put my water cup on his tray and hand it to me when I needed it. He also provided friendly conversation; I got to hear about how he met his wife and what his kids were like and how he has a grand puppy now (even though he told his newly-wed daughter to wait on kids-and puppies- for a little while). There was more kindness that he showed me in addition to these things, but you get the picture. :) He was just the KIND of person God knew I needed on that first nervous flight. I felt like crying at one point, just for the simple kindness I was shown (but to me, it felt like a great amount kindness)!

I had one other sweet, motherly lady next to me on the short 30 minute flight from SFO-SLO. She was so excited to sit next to us, which is not always the reaction you get. The other seat mates I had the rest of my flights weren't as excited, but they weren't rude (they just didn't talk much at all, and had pretty serious dispositions lol). I was shown kindness by other people throughout my time at the airport-People who asked if I needed help with carrying my stuff, folding up the stroller/car seat/etc. I was given friendly, knowing smiles (the kind that say "I've been there"). There was a lady a few aisles up on one of my flights who turned around and played peek-a-boo with Amberly when she had a fussy spell. I'm forgetting some things, but overall I experienced a great amount of kindness on my trip and this made a world of difference! I took mental notes for next time I come across a struggling mama. Every mom can use encouragement and kindness!

Laugh Until You Cry

When I was a little girl, I remember being pen pals with many of my long distance relatives. I loved the sheer excitement and joy of opening up a hand-written letter and unfolding the thoughts, feelings and love for me that each note contained. My grandma Omie, as we call her, even started an alphabet drawing game, where we would switch off writing letters of the alphabet on note cards and draw pictures of objects that started with that letter. Her drawings were always better than mine, but I loved seeing her creativity spilled out on those little cards, and in turn I would wonder what she would think of my silly creations. :) I treasured those cards for years, and I hope to re-discover them soon.

When I got older, my brothers and I would go visit my grandma and other relatives during the summer breaks. I fondly recall Grandma Omie teaching us card games like hand and foot or board games like Mouse Trap. She always had ice cream on hand (she never said no to ice cream herself!), and sitting out on her little porch watching the rain while we talked about life. She also had a collection of "vintage" toys that she saved from when my mom and uncle were kids, that she would bring out for us when we were little (many I had never heard of before). Those are just a few of my favorite memories with her. She had one small tv, no cable, just a few VHS tapes and no computer. Some kids may have considered going to her place as "boring", but I treasured those quiet visits with her. One thing I will always hold on to is her precious, contagious laugh. How can I even describe her laugh? It's one of my favorites my ears have ever heard. It's one of those laughs that you can't help but start laughing yourself, even if you don't think what was said to cause that laugh was funny at all.

In the past five years or so, grandma Omie has been losing her mind...to Alzheimer's disease. I had never really experienced the effects of this disease in anyone close to me before, so it did come as a bit of a shock the first few times I saw/talked to my grandma after her diagnosis. Since I moved back to California soon after her diagnosis, I didn't get to talk to or see her very often. I was so grateful she was able to make the trip out for my wedding nearly 5 years ago. That meant so much to me! I also saw her at my brother's wedding a year later, and she was joyfully dancing (a new thing I learned about her-she LOVES to dance!) When I would visit, she wouldn't usually remember me right away, sometimes not at all. I would mail her pictures of the kids and JD and I with the kids, and my mom would place them near her bed in her nursing home and tell her about me and my family. When I would talk to her on the phone, it was difficult to know what to talk about as she couldn't remember anything and would go around in circles a lot of the time. She's also lost her ability to walk recently, so she is confined to either her bed or the wheel chair (no more dancing) :( . My mom says she hardly ever finds her in bed, however, and she's usually socializing with other patients or doing some kind of fun activity with the nurses/patients.

With all the hard changes I've seen in my sweet grandma, one thing that hasn't faded is her laugh. This last visit, my brother Seth and I decided to visit her the first full day I was there. My mom watched Amberly, so Seth and I got a little brother-sister time and didn't have to worry about the baby while we spent time with grandma. Seth was so kind and patient with grandma, it truly warmed my heart. He knew what to say, and I could tell grandma loved being around him. At one point, she patted his hand and looked at it with a funny face. Seth asked what was the matter, and she said something like "you have a big hand" and he said something like "yes I do, And you have petite hands". We all started laughing, and this may have been the moment when I just completely lost it and started laughing so hard that I started crying. I couldn't stop for a good couple of minutes, Seth and my grandma soon followed and we had a great big laughing party. I wonder if anyone was passing by the lounge room during that time and wondered what was so funny. haha! It wasn't what my grandma or Seth said that caused my laughing fit. I truly believe it was a blessing that God allowed me to share a good laugh with my grandma, and Seth! Have you ever laughed so hard it hurt or made you cry? That's a treasured memory to share with anyone :) I hadn't laughed that hard in SO long, and God knew I needed it! Treasure time with your loved ones, and laugh as much as possible. :)

Oh, and grandma Omie loved Amberly! "Oh, would you look at that sweet little girl"...Her love for children hasn't changed a bit, either. It was so special to see her light up around Amberly, and love on her. She won't be able to teach my kids how to play hand and foot, or dance with them, or tell them about her past...but she will be able to share her laugh with them. :)

I plan to do an updated post on the kids soon, as baby girl is almost ONE now, and Liam is getting closer to THREE! As Grandma would say "Oh, boy!" (she says this about almost anything these days, which I've come to love too) :)

Amberly Willow

My last post was all about my sweet boy Liam (Lee-num), and this post will be about my lovely daughter, Amberly. Previously, I talked a little about how quickly time passes when you become a mom. If I felt time passed quickly when I had Liam, it's nothing compared to how time has been FLYING by with Amberly. I seriously can't wrap my mind around where the last (almost) 4 months have gone. I think this time is different because I have two kids now-one very busy toddler and a lovable but needy (at times) baby. Amberly has been such a blessing to our little family, bringing us smiles every day and I'm enjoying every bit of being a girl mom. I was so used to all things boy (especially having grown up with four brothers and marrying into a family with 3 more brothers!) but I'm definitely learning to embrace my girly side. My mom and I have always been close, which I'm forever grateful for. I'm hoping Amberly and I can always share a close bond as well, and do all the fun things I did/do with my own mom.

Anyway, let me get on to all things Amberly. So, I should first start off and explain how we came up with her name, as we get asked this fairly frequently. JD has always liked the name Amberly (it closely resembles one of his fav bands, Anberlin, and he wrote a short story once with one of the main character's' names being Amberly). I always liked the name Willow, and Amberly grew on me when we discussed names for Liam, even before we knew he would be a boy. So, we had her name picked out even before her brother's (his took awhile to agree on haha). We decided to omit the second middle name for her, however. Her brother takes the cake for longest name, but only by a few letters (Liam Malcolm Orion Doupe).

Amberly will be FOUR months old in about a week. She has already grown out of her 0-3 month clothes and can even fit into some 6 month clothes (she's in the upper percentile for weight and length, apparently) and those lovable, chunky thighs of hers can be difficult to clothe at times. :) She is beginning to teeth (her bottom two teeth will be the first ones making their debut). Even though it bothers her some days, she is still overall a very mellow, happy baby. She is holding her head up really well (she has been since about a month old actually) and I think she'll be sitting up on her own before too long! I'm hoping she'll hold off on the crawling for awhile though...

She loves to give big gummy smiles, babble (and screech-her newest discovery) to anyone who will listen. She loves attention, watching her big brother, having mom carry her in the Ergo on walks (she falls asleep within 5 mins usually). She adores bath time, mommy singing to her, listening to daddy read during baths,  kicking her legs with extra vigor when she's excited about something, and grinning at herself in the mirror. She is currently trying to learn how to turn over from back to tummy (she's got the side-to-side rolling down like a champ!). She also loves to purse her little lips and make tiny raspberry sounds, but doesn't know what to think when we blow big raspberries on her belly. She loves her rattles, teething toys,and basically anything she can grasp onto with her sweet, chubby little hands. It's been so fun to watch her discover the world around her and become more interactive, and also remember similarities/observe difference between her and Liam at each stage (not that I remember everything-because, mom brain). :)

My favorite thing lately, was when JD was able to bring out the CUTEST belly laughs from Amberly, by lightly dropping a stuffed bear on her. We made sure Liam wasn't around, so as not to get any ideas! I have been trying for weeks to find Amberly's funny bone, and would get a few little giggles here and there (I did find a few extra ticklish spots!) but nothing like the gold her daddy brought out. Baby's laughter truly is one of God's greatest gifts to us all, isn't it?

Here's the video, if you would like a smile or giggle today:

 As for sleeping, Amberly is a pretty good sleeper overall. She usually wakes no more than 1-3 times a night to nurse and then falls right back asleep. She takes about a 40 min-1 hour nap in the mornings and on good days, a 3-4 hour afternoon nap! I know this longer nap period won't last forever, so I'm enjoying it while it's here. :) She is also great at falling asleep with any kind of motion-in the car, while being carried, in the stroller.

We love our girl so very much, and can't wait to see what the next months hold!

Lee-num

  It's both amazing and heart-breaking how quickly time passes when you become a mom. Sometimes, individual days can seem to drag on and on; but weeks, months and years pass at a frightening rate. I am trying my best to soak in each moment, each new developmental stage, each laugh, each snuggle, each arm roll, each new tooth, each new word. Watching a tiny human grow and discover the world and become their own person, but at the same time love you unconditionally/need you, is a wonderful journey that I feel so blessed to experience. I want to try my best to document my two babies, at the stages they are at now, so I at least have this to look back on. I will share Liam as best I can in this post, and Amberly will follow soon!

Liam:

My sweet, smart, cuddly, active, strong-willed, silly, loving boy is going to be two in a little over a month. That is just mind-blowing to me. Having Amberly around has brought back memories of my newborn days with Liam, when it was just he and I at home while daddy sometimes worked long hours. We were the best of friends. Since sister arrived, it's been more of a challenge to find time with just Liam, as baby requires a lot of my attention. He really loves when I'm able to sit down and read a few books with him (and he is very clear that he must sit ON my lap, not beside me, which I don't mind one bit). I cherish the moments that he wants to be with his mama, as 80% (or more) of the time he much prefers to run around and do his own thing. His independence is a fun thing to observe (and hear, as he just loves to sit in his crib, the car, etc and have long monologues with himself). 

His first words were "da-da", "ball", "woof" (if you count that one), and later "mama", "no", "yes", "baby", "please" (he says "tease" in the cutest little voice), "more" (which is sometimes "boar") and one of JD's favorites, "dice". His favorite words/phrases these days have been "Where go?" (when looking for something or someone), "Love too" when we tell him we love him (this one always melts us),  "hi HI", "BYE", "cool, cool" (for pool), "apple juice","animal", "E-I-E-I-O", "I don't know", "hmmm", "ucky", "TADA!", "BIG BOY!", "choo choo", "tractor", "vroom", "two babies" (he points at baby Amberly and the baby doll she sometimes holds). My favorite, other than "Love too", is how he pronounces his name- "Lee-num". He's also started mimicking us more and it has made us realize how big a responsibility it is to set a good example for our children-in speech, actions, how we treat others, etc. 

Lee-num's fav menu choices lately include: Most fruits (but especially strawberries, peaches and frozen blueberries), broccoli (weird, I know), beans, chilli, almost any type of bread, mac 'n' cheese, chicken nuggets, french fries, PB&J, yogurt, fruit snacks, seaweed (another funny one) and anything sweet (which we try to limit). Oh yes, and juice of course. There's quite a long list of foods this kid doesn't like, but mainly it's meats (which is odd to me, as JD and I both love meats).

This boy loves: dirt, rocks, trucks/cars ("vrooms"), animals (especially "woofs"), going to Avila Barn to feed the animals, being outdoors, giving his baby sister hugs, snuggling with mama and daddy when he's tired, tucking in his stuffed animals before naps/bedtime, playing with "choo choos" at his bumpa and grandma's house, swimming with Roxy ("Ocky"), collecting rocks/sticks/leaves on walks and making piles of things, coloring/scribbling, stickers, looking at pictures of people he knows, calling daddy on lunch breaks, reading books, bath time, showers with mommy in the mornings, brushing his teeth, being a helper (sweeping, vacuuming, giving mommy drinks of water, putting laundry in the dryer and pressing the buttons, water the garden/get wet with the hose, etc), going to the park, watching the trash man, flushing the toilet (but is yet to be potty trained), going to church and playing with friends/toys, playing with his cousin Waylon "We-We", hanging with his pal Joyanna (he's yet to say her name lol), and holding her hand, singing "E-I-E-I-O" with mommy.

We love you so much, Lee-num, and can't wait to watch you continue to grow, learn, and love the world and others around you. 

New Beginnings.

Hello! Welcome to my blog, where I'll be documenting moments (honest, tired, beautiful, heart-wrenching, mundane, exciting moments) from this Doupe mama's heart. In the past when I've attempted blogging, I would get really excited about having a special outlet to express myself in words. I would go strong for a couple months, maybe even a whole year and then I would lose interest, get "too busy", find other priorities or you know...have a few children. :) Lately, I've been regretting my lack of documenting my children's milestones, "firsts", funny words, family adventures and the like. I do this in pictures pretty regularly, but I have been missing the written documentation. So, this will be a place where I can document such things as well as open my heart up a little to anyone who cares to read. This is a new beginning for me, as I haven't written much at all since becoming a mom.  Here's to new beginnings!

For anyone who reads this who doesn't know me yet, I'll introduce myself in a few quick sentences...let's see how well I can do this. My name is Anna Doupe, I am a 20-something (okay, almost 30-something) wife and mama to two lovely littles-Liam (almost 2 years old) and Amberly (3 months old). I live in beautiful California and enjoy family time, dates with my husband, photography, thrifting, vintage, watching cheesy hallmark movies or Jane Austen classics,playing games, having tea parties and mint chip ice cream. I dislike coffee, dirty socks, driving (most of the time) and small talk.

A few quick disclaimers:

1.Please forgive my rusty writing skills. I entirely believe that "mom brain" is a real thing and that a few (or a lot) of this mama's brain cells have died in the past few years of being pregnant twice and bearing two children. I shudder at the thought of reading some of the (few) letters I've written to friends and family over the past few years. I'm certain they must have as many "typos" as my texts do today. 

2. It has been quite the wild, messy (literally), challenging, stretching, emotional yet beautiful and edifying period of my life. Now seems like the right time to start sharing a little with ya'll from time to time. It's hard to be vulnerable...really, really hard sometimes. I am grateful for the friendships I've developed in which I'm comfortable bearing my soul and not feeling an ounce of judgement. But in order to be truly vulnerable, one must anticipate some amount of judgement. After all, this world seems to believe we are the masters of judgement these days. 

3. You will notice and probably grow annoyed at my extensive use of parentheses. I am 100% certain that I use them too frequently and misuse them half the time, but that's okay. I am not creating a blog to showcase perfect writing skills, after all.

4.I regret that I may have rather dry humor at times, so you may feel free to skip those parts if need be. ;) The humor is mostly for my own amusement anyway. I would hope becoming a mom would make me more funny, though... because, boy, some days of being a mom really require a few laughs to make up for the hard moments. 

5.Following with the dry humor bit, I will throw in that I can be prettttty cheesy at times (like naming my blog "mama Doupe" as if I'm a southern grandma sitting on her porch telling stories...what more would I want in life? No really, that is my life goal. Especially the porch part...a big, wrap around one with God's glory stretched out in front of me, and grand-babies to come visit me often). 

6. I ramble and get off subject easily...but this is how my brain works. Always thinking, over-thinking, rambling, and yes, worrying too. It's amazing that I actually get some sleep at night, though I seldom have dream-less nights.

7. This blog will have no "theme", at least to begin with. I'm not organized enough at this stage in life and it would cause unneeded stress added onto the stress I'm trying to decrease (more in another post). :) I'll mostly be sharing thoughts, struggles, encouragement, memories with my kids and family, pictures and whatever else I choose to share. 

Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy looking into my heart and life a little as Mama Doupe!